Good Morning Asshole

Ahhh. Nothing makes me feel more alive then being outside. Really, it does. As cheesy as it sounds, it makes me feel so good, especially when the conditions are just right.  For the first time in weeks the sun was out today. And tonight when I went outside, I was surprised. Nice clear skies, beautiful full moon. I got on my boots and went ou. My boots are knee high and they got filled with snow :P I went to climb this 6ft snow hill we have, and I fell. It filled my coat, my sleeves and my boots. I just laid there. It was peaceful. I would have stayed out longer, but the cold was making my butt hurt.
ahhhh :3
I wish everyday of winter was like today.

My computer should be arriving tomorrow. Lemme tell you. VERY EXCITE!

Argh we have like a foot of snow on the ground up here. Its gross. I've pulled muscles in my legs from slipping D:
Did anyone happen to see the Victoria's secret show? It grossed me out. Some of those girls look sickly thin. There was like one girl who was slim, but looked healthy. Adriana Lima is gorgeous, but shes looking a little like skeletor.
Ugh I've had one hell of a productive day. So far I've cleaned the kitchen and my bathroom, and I started cleaning my bed linens...which is a mattress cover, a sheet, a comforter, and 3 blankets. so I have lots of laundry to do. Im taking a break to get level headed again. I breathed in too much tilex and it feels like my glands are really swollen. But! Atleast all the dishes are clean and my tub is spotless.
OHOHOHO. I ordered a new computer. It cost 3.3k, but I'm doing a monthly plan thing.

[1] Area-51® X58

Processor: Intel® Core™ i7-920 2.66 GHz 8MB Cache
Alienware P2 Chassis: Alienware® P2 Chassis with AlienIce™ 3.0 Video Cooling - Space Black
System Lighting: Alienware® Standard System Lighting - Nebula Aqua
System Cooling: Alienware® Standard System Cooling
Power Supply: Alienware® 750 Watt Multi-GPU Approved Power Supply
Graphics Processor: Dual 512MB NVIDIA® GeForce® 9800 GT
Memory: 6GB DDR3 SDRAM at 1066MHz - 3 x 2048MB
Motherboard: Alienware® Approved Intel® X-58 Motherboard- Socket 1366 Core i7 Ready, Dual Triple Channel DDR3 Memory
Operating System (Office software not included): Genuine Windows Vista® Ultimate (64-bit Edition) with Service Pack 1
System Drive: Single Drive Configuration - 250GB SATA 3Gb/s 7,200RPM 16MB Cache
Optical Drives : Single Drive Configuration - 20X Dual-Layer Burner (DVD±RW)
Enthusiast Essentials: Dual High Performance Gigabit Ethernet Ports
Sound Card: High-Definition 7.1 Performance Audio
Monitor: 24" 2408WFP
1920 x 1200p (6ms)

FINALI. A high-def monitor :O I cant wait! Also, 6g of ram FTFW. I need lots to run lots of programs at once. I'm sort of worried though. Iheard manga studio has problems with vista. I went ahead and got the ultimate edition. I also got to choose some free customizable features. Got the teal window scheme and the alienware layout, which some neat sidebar gadgets.  I'm stoked!
Anyways! back to work.

Oh boy, learning who you are is pretty confusing and frustrating sometimes. Ya know, I thought I had this shit figured about a few years ago. But I guess sittin round doing nothing gives you the opportunity to learn shit about yourself.
Ugh, Im so frustrated. Like, I am SO tired of doing what I'm doing. I want to get out, and do something with myself. I will go to college. Im saving up for a car, and I plan on attending winter courses. Now...the problem is what school.  North Central Michigan University is only an hour away, and offers a basic 4 year liberal arts degree. In uhm, the up...I think marquette they offer an illustration major.  Problem, I'd have to live on campus. That wouldnt work out with me and Cory I think...but arghhhh. I want to go. REAL bad.
I cant decide what part of me is best. Sometimes I feel a little bipolar. I can't decide if I should be serious, eccentric, happy, fun, strong willed, foolhardy. I dont know, becuase I'm all of those things. I am quite innocent, with a really dark freaky side I guess. Its hard to tell what people expect from me, because I don't even know.
Beside that, I need to do something with my life, something worthwhile.  I want to feel like I can accomplish something. It feels as if I've gotten so damn stupid in the past 2 years, it sickens me almost. I want to learn, I want to see and discover new things. I want to meet new people and have fun, I want to just...live. I thought I was ready to settle down and have a family...but good lord. I am not, and wont be for atleast 5 years.
See! I'm not as ditzy as I come off to be. Im actually pretty srsbidness.
I'm also not as dumb as I seem, even though I act like it.

MMM Itook a shower and it felt amazing. zomg.
^3^

 OH MY GOD

THIS IS SO CUTE IT MAKES ME SICK

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=587Ex131-20

Its not Britney Spears, its from yogurting, a korean mmo. <.<
just thought I'd share!

Hmmm today has consisted of...
Turkeh sammiches, ZF, raspberry cranberry juice, and showering.
Pretty boring. Im prolly gonna get some drawing done today, lay around. dunno. Feeling more apathetic then normal lately.

Oh and that dream?
Yummy.

It really upsets me when my mom comes home drunk and angry/depressed.
Shes in the bathroom, talking to herself. and shes mad at my dad....
Its not like he up and died intentionally you know?
And I just realized I was alone for the last 3 years of highschool.
No one had my back really.
So I can sort of understand why things are so fucked up today.
My health insurance is gone, which is good because my mother blames it for her debt. Which really, is bad cos I think I have one hell of an ulcer.
Life is all sorts of messed up.
I dunno what to do anymore.

Leave an ANONYMOUS comment with:

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8. A hint to who you are
9. After you do it for me, put it in your LJ and see who does it for you.

I'm screening all comments, so it's private. Neat thingy!

Yes! I brought my shaman over to Turalyon, named her Hatsya.
Now stop! Its nothing about hats.
Hatsya: A triple and nebulous star, 3.5, 8.5, and 11, white, pale blue, and grape red in the sword tip of the Hunter, Orion. The Arabs called Hatsya, Na'ir al Saif, "the Bright One in the Sword" (tip). In China it was Fa, a "Middle-man", nu and intermediate stars being included under this name; but others translate the word "Punishment," and gives another title for it, — Tui, or Jui, the "Sharp Edge", analogous to the Arabian Saif and perhaps taken from it. (Starnames, Their Lore and Meaning, Richard Hinchley Allen, 1889).

COPY PASTE MONSTARZ

BEN.

So today. Was SHITTY. SHITTY.
I got locked out. Mum was up north. Cory was at school. Im too short to break in the back window, and the ground is soft from the rain so the chair would sink. So I was like whateva. I noticed it was getting stormy, and my cellphone died so I figured It wouldnt be so bad to chill out in the yard. Then the tornado sirens went off.
I went into panic mode, lifted a 60lb metal table, put a plastic lawn chair on top of that. It was so unbalanced, and while all this was happening, my kitten was trying to escape the window. So I got in. Ever try climbing a wet plastic chair with flipflops on? Ugh. badness.
Anywho, I got in. Dirty and sweaty. And like 30 minutes after that, a severe thunderstorm beat the shit out of madison heights, and 2 tornadoes missed us by miles. I took some sweet pics, but they are at home. :P
Atleast cory got outta class early, and we went to Cici's with friends! Which I love. and is good times. Now Im at Geneva's :D Tummy kinda hurts, but whatevs.
I plan on having a fun weekend.

Gyar.
I've been grumpy.
Its my period and I want to kill people.
So anyways.
+New Kitten!
+Clean room!
+Diet is doing well!

-Period
-INTERNETS ARE DUMB AS FUCK
-Want chocolate. NOW.

Edit: Ok so now Im pissed.
I was on encyclopedia dramatica. Came across a page titled zippo cat.
Its some guy, setting his cat on fire and taking pictures. And another of a woman in high heels, stepping on a kittens head.
Good fucking god people. What the hell is the matter with all these sick fucks out there?
Bitch. I wish I could wear some high heels and stick it through her skull, and set that fuck on fire. God damn Im pissed off. Some people need to die, and I would have no problem doing it myself.

Heh so cory read my diary today while I napped.
<.<.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh Sleepy.
Gonna see Brandon on Saturday. thats cool :3
AHHH BENNN
/poke!

So I saw my uncle today...my fathers brother.
Was like looking at a ghost.